5 Year Plan

In the year 2000 I created a plan for the remaining 5 years of my life.  As an experiment, I programmed my mind with a series of linguistic hypnotic suggestions to entrench the idea that I would die on November 3rd 2005.

At first, it seemed like a joke.  I told my friends and family about it, they all thought I was a bit crazy.  The idea of artificially shortening my life expectancy was one that had come to me as a result of finding success in my life, but remaining unhappy.

I didn’t like the idea of settling into unconsciousness.  I wanted to be hyper-conscious, I wanted to run headstrong into the world with reckless abandon.  I wanted to put away all my grudges, come to terms with my life and carry on into something greater.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

After 5 years I found myself in a different frame of mind.  I’d lived those years, I’d let go of all the fear and anger of my childhood, and I’d made peace with my experience.  When November 3rd came I accepted it as the end of all that was.  I closed my eyes that night aware my life could very well end, without trying to hold onto it, without fear that I had not lived it.

The next day I woke up, and the world seemed a more beautiful place.  Every moment forward was a gift, and no amount of time was certain.  I carried on with my life, unburdened by the weight of the fear death previously held.

Every Year now, when this date passes, I take stock of where I am and how far I’ve traveled beyond that initial resting place.

Every day is something beautiful, sometimes we just aren’t aware of it.

Transitions