In the year 2000 I created a plan for the remaining 5 years of my life. Â As an experiment, I programmed my mind with a series of linguistic hypnotic suggestions to entrench the idea that I would die on November 3rd 2005.
At first, it seemed like a joke. Â I told my friends and family about it, they all thought I was a bit crazy. Â The idea of artificially shortening my life expectancy was one that had come to me as a result of finding success in my life, but remaining unhappy.
I didn’t like the idea of settling into unconsciousness. Â I wanted to be hyper-conscious, I wanted to run headstrong into the world with reckless abandon. Â I wanted to put away all my grudges, come to terms with my life and carry on into something greater.
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After 5 years I found myself in a different frame of mind. Â I’d lived those years, I’d let go of all the fear and anger of my childhood, and I’d made peace with my experience. Â When November 3rd came I accepted it as the end of all that was. Â I closed my eyes that night aware my life could very well end, without trying to hold onto it, without fear that I had not lived it.
The next day I woke up, and the world seemed a more beautiful place. Â Every moment forward was a gift, and no amount of time was certain. Â I carried on with my life, unburdened by the weight of the fear death previously held.
Every Year now, when this date passes, I take stock of where I am and how far I’ve traveled beyond that initial resting place.
Every day is something beautiful, sometimes we just aren’t aware of it.